20 Things I've Learned in Peru
Meat and Food
1. The cute, small guinea pigs that let you pet them aren't being friendly, they are weak and will die soon. Don't get attached.
2. The darker chunks of "meat" in the soup are not really meat, they are mystery organs.
3. Eating mangoes when there is no running water equals sticky hands all day. It is better to save this snack for later when there is water.
4. Too many mangoes leads to an uncomfortable stomach situation.
5. The warm, unpasteurized mile that comes with breakfast, although delicious, does not help the aforementioned uncomfortable stomach situation.
6. It is impossible to eat anything without first adding at least half the weight of the original food in either salt or sugar.
7. On any given day one should consume large quantities of the four main food groups, white rice, noodles, potatoes, and white bread, often all in the same meal.
Language Barrier
8. To collaborate with someone means to pay them, not to share in responsibility.
9. To invite someone to something means you are paying. Be careful about inviting a Peruvian friend to a movie or a meal.
10. In Peruvian Spanish every word ends in the diminutive -ita as a means of showing endearment. My favorite so far was when someone told me the restroom was ocupadita instead of just ocupada (occupied).
Household chores
11. Doing laundry by hand with open wounds on your hands will lead to extreme discomfort.
12. It is possible to remain perfectly clean and ironed after gutting a hen, walking 2 kilometers on a dusty road, and eating an ice cream. So far I haven't succeeded in staying clean through one of these activities let alone all three.
Celebrity
13. Telling the school children where you live will mean constantly being watched through your window.
14. Attending town gatherings will mean giving a public speech and sitting with the authorities as a "representative of the government of the United States."
Culture
15. It is perfectly acceptable to refer to someone by their physical attributes. Weight, race, and skin color are all commonly included in nicknames. It is also possible to convert a defining physical characteristic into a nickname by adding the diminutive or demonstrative, i.e. a cabezon would be a person with a big head or a narizon would be a big nosed person.
16. Being 22 and unconcerned with finding a husband and having kids in the immediate future is almost unheard of (hence the name of the new Facebook album, Confessions of a 22 year old spinster).
Perceptions of American Culture
17. All Americans only eat canned food.
18. Americans come to steal babies.
19. Americans throw their clothes away after very little use.
20. Americans bring swine flu.
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Dani, i hear you about the mangoes and the uncomfortable stomach situation; at least that's what my parents told me after i grubbed on a bunch and a day or two later complained of stomach pains. but what is it exactly that is giving us the pains: the water used to wash the mangoes, the water used to wash the knife (if you peel them), the unsanitary knife itself, the germs and pesticides on the skin (if you eat them by scraping the fruit from the skin with your teeth), the actual mango, or the sheer amount of mangoes? your thoughts??
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